I still cannot believe I am getting married...in just under 5 months I'll be walking down the aisle in my white gown, in front of my friends and family, and toward Bobbie. We'll be officially becoming our own family. We'll share a last name. We will share much much more further down the road, but it all starts on May 19th. Technically we share a lot already, but we're really just boyfriend and girlfriend committed to each other. Marriage is something so...permanent.

Over the past year, I've questioned whether or not I am ready to be a married woman. I was very fiery in college and never thought I'd settle down in one place. Of course Bobbie and I don't necessarily have to become an old married couple right away, but having another person in your life means you have to consult them on job changes and moving, and even down to the little things like what kind of milk to buy or which car you're taking to work. The questioning has nothing to do with cold feet or whether or not I love Bobbie. It has everything to do with how incredibly different of a turn my life has taken.

The great thing about it all is how well we fit together. The only restrictions we place on each other are the ones we actually place on ourselves in consideration of the other person. So if I felt like I should move to Russia, or become a teacher, or join a church, there would be no issue with Bobbie. If he decided to move to Alaska, build a cabin in the woods, or become a logger, there would be no issue with me. We may not LIKE it, but we support each other in whatever we do. We talk it out, weigh the pros and cons, and tell the truth about each other. Then we support whatever decision we make.

It's the ideal relationship for a backwoods bubba and a big-city Feminist. Still, just the THOUGHT of me being married is...strange. Even my sister says so ("Who ARE you?!). In a way, it's a dream come true. I don't feel confined by our relationship. In fact, I feel that in many ways it has set me free. It's motivated me to get personal issues taken care of and learn to live with myself instead of constantly running away. I've actually gotten to put into practice Feminist ideals of equality, especially when it comes to decision-making. I've gotten experience with which to counsel friends now instead of just going off of what I think is logical or wise at the time. In short, God has perfectly designed every step of my life, right up to me becoming a married woman.

All the stress of the wedding aside, and all of the hurdles we've had to overcome aside, it IS actually exciting that I am getting married. I get to start my own family, learning from the mistakes of all the ones I come from. We get to create our own space where we live how we want and feel accepted and like we belong. We get to have children someday to love, teach, and help develop and Lord help us, get through teenage years. We've chosen alternative lifestyles and being ourselves in those lifestyles, we get to walk through life together, starting May 19th.