"Right" Theology.

To "know" God is impossible. I've found that even the things He's revealed to us about Himself are lofty and mysterious, and require extensive study to understand. Even then it all boils down to human interpretations of divine words. How do I know who to believe? There are many people who seem to fit into Scripture's guidelines of a true Christian, meaning mainly that they are loving and forgiving and non-judgmental. But their theology seems if-y. Then there are others who seem to believe all the right things concerning Scripture but whose lives don't match Jesus' words to love your neighbor as yourself.

I'm beginning to wonder if right theology is all that important, as long as you are following what the Bible says in honesty and humility. People always say you can't be a good Christian unless your theology matches up Scripture but then there are so many people who are unloving and forget about the outcasts of the world, or who are super judgmental, and I've always said that if a person claiming to be a Christian is that way then their theology is wrong after all.

For a long while now I've had the belief that, So what if my lifestyle doesn't fit what the Church says is Christian-like, as long as I love God and love others? Scripture is packed full of commands that have to do with how you relate to God and others. That seems to be the most important thing of all. But so many of my friends, professors, and classmates focused heavily on how right or wrong a person is in their personal life. Much of my Christian life has been spent battling the guilt of my sins because all I ever heard was not to do this or to stay away from that. I'm more concerned with the quality of a person rather than how many points they're racking up in the sin department.

I do things others say are wrong but that I myself don't believe to be so. But I believe the Spirit of the living God is in me, guiding me and teaching me as He promised He would. So I'm ok with the idea that in time, God will reveal to me whether they truly are right or wrong.

In the meantime, I think I'm in need of a spiritual retreat. I need to go away somewhere and focus on just worshipping God. That is definitely something I have not done in a long time and I think it'll do some good to set aside time just for connecting with God rather than the snatches in the morning I get from a quick Bible read or the punctuated prayer times asking for help and renewal. Just like my relationships with my friends, family, and boyfriend require quality time every once in a while, so does my relationship with God require separate time for communion and a reminding of why I love God and how much He loves me.